I am a little nostalgic. I had a b-day, and it was peaceful and full of cheer.
But now that I ponder about it, I feel sad. I turn 25 yrs old and I haven't done most of the things I expected by now when I was a child. I had hopes, dreams, or projects that I wanted to have accomplished by now, but I don't.
Sometimes I think it hasn't been my fault, at all, its just the way things developed, but how I wish they had developed differently. Maybe if I had done or made other choices I could have some of what I used to play or write when I was younger.
But then I think it's my fault. Maybe I am the one who needs to change. I need to change, because if being the same for over 10 years haven't gotten what I wanted, I should act other way. Stop doing the same, and try something else.
But life has changed me a little, in my feelings. I've trusted and been hurted, I've dreamed and been deceived, but who hasn't?But now that I ponder about it, I feel sad. I turn 25 yrs old and I haven't done most of the things I expected by now when I was a child. I had hopes, dreams, or projects that I wanted to have accomplished by now, but I don't.
Sometimes I think it hasn't been my fault, at all, its just the way things developed, but how I wish they had developed differently. Maybe if I had done or made other choices I could have some of what I used to play or write when I was younger.
But then I think it's my fault. Maybe I am the one who needs to change. I need to change, because if being the same for over 10 years haven't gotten what I wanted, I should act other way. Stop doing the same, and try something else.
How should I respond then? Stop dreaming hasn't worked so good, well, sometimes it does. But if I dream, I go way off and when I crash back to earth its wrecking.
Now I wish I could go some place peaceful, quiet, and close my eyes, breath, feel the air, the breeze, sigh, and wonder if this time I am in the right path, or I am doing the same I used to, craving and watching the same landscape.
I feel sad. I find myself hoping the same things, and it hurts to know the outcome.
I hear and read lot of pretty things about me, for me, words just words; and yet I am not good enough. Why should I care anyway?
Because others have and I don't? Nothing is perfect. I have things others don't.
Today, I think, I'll pray what I prayed like one year and a half ago. I know what I want, but God knows what is really good and suitable for me.
So I Say, every rose has its thorns.
Qué ironía mi vida. Debería resignarme a la verdad.
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
