Past

Today is a special day.
But a sad day.
I'm speechless. I should be writing, but I can't write, or put into feelings what I feel.
Missing and missing. Dead people, gone people, changed  people, past people.

As time pass by, i feel reassured that my fate is to be better off alone. I tried but thinking I could do otherwise was naive.
And all this I can't seem to handle.
Most  of the past 11 years, I was loved and I'd like to believe I made other feel loved too. I was lucky, hence I can die in peace.
I still would like to die in my sleep -but who wouldn't?-

Trade

I think life should be like a trade coin.
Some people want to live and some of us want to die.
So, to those who want to live eagerly or are sick or whatever, they want to live and us who want to die, we should trade life.
Like... I should put my hand on someone who wants to live and they on me and they take my life and me the death.
Doesn't it sound FAIR?
But life isn't fair.. I remember him saying that... I should have paid more atenttion...