Past

Today is a special day.
But a sad day.
I'm speechless. I should be writing, but I can't write, or put into feelings what I feel.
Missing and missing. Dead people, gone people, changed  people, past people.

As time pass by, i feel reassured that my fate is to be better off alone. I tried but thinking I could do otherwise was naive.
And all this I can't seem to handle.
Most  of the past 11 years, I was loved and I'd like to believe I made other feel loved too. I was lucky, hence I can die in peace.
I still would like to die in my sleep -but who wouldn't?-