I am Taylor Swift's song. It's me, I'm the problem it's me. His last words "I don't love you" and that's the only truth he ever said. He never loved me. He just used me.
Once again I stand on this side where I'm dumped as a disposable thing. Bringing my selfworth to the floor. Feeling my heart breaking, pain in my chest and the painful process of burrying dreams and future plans.
Why do I keep fooling myself? This one has been the worst so far. I must reconize my part, my issues. I am not a perfect human being, made mistakes and carry along lot of trauma and inner child things.
But I loved. I was so open and honest. I can't do this anymore to be honest.
Life is tiring. I'm drained, exhausted. I give up. It's full of pain, and the hurt, is overwhelming. I don't think I can go on. I felt like there's nothing worth to live for, or in me. I will continue to be used because life will only keep punishing me for my mistakes. I can't catch a break and I don't want to live anymore.
Besides, I already have lived a lot. I was a child, a daughter, a wife, I lived abroad, I traveled to Europe. I'm done with life. WHy do I wanna live? There's nothing for me, there's no hope. I thought I had a chance, a light beam and it was bullshit. Everything was bullshit and lies.
If God's real, UNiverse, whatever, please give me death. If I can't kill myself in August, cus..cowardice, as birthday gift, give me death. I don't wanna live crying, and feeling this pain everyday anymore.
I feel so alone. She was my soulmate, i wish to be with her again, in death.
