Like A Child

En días como hoy pienso muchas cosas. En lo lindo que es recibir cosas, sean tangibles o no, cuando no las esperas, y más cuando ni siquiera las has pedido. Es como sentir una brisa y una sonrisa sincera. Pero no le da tiempo a tu corazón de prepararse, y te quedas asombrado.
Yo sé que entregar todo no significa que lo recibirás, por eso uno debe entregar sin esperar nada a cambio. Yo siempre doy cosas, o emociones.. me encanta causarle alegría y felicidad a alguien. Como la felicidad de mi sobrino porque le arreglé su muñeco. O como la alegría que le das a alguien por decir "A mi también me ha pasado!", O cuando le dices algo a alguien que no sabía y que no esperaba saber, cuando incluyes a alguien, o simplemente un "Yo también".
Yo sé que la consecuencia del destrozamiento de la esperanza es el endurecimiento del corazón.

I got the red dress I wanted. So, I'll wear it, my red dress that mean things. I'll look myself in the mirror and think. I will cry and then I'll wipe off my tears and put make up on.
Where would we be without make up? But I am thankful. You've rewarded me. You've taken care of my and my family. I'll keep praying for me, for them, for him. After all, what am I?
Just as weak and sad as any other. I wish I was stronger. I wish I could empower that empathy more. But I am only human, and still knowing, still growing, still learning, getting sick, hurting, smiling, feeling, and crying.

I've done wrong in the past, and maybe I'll do more in the future. I always pray for justice, because I am not to take revenge, so better let go and be free.
I have paths in front of me.. One is a known past path, do I want go that way again just because of few reasons? Do I take the future path of comfort and companionship? Do I take the other path? Today I felt scared, because I felt pain and disappointment again. I felt again that awful sensation of giving. But I must remember to myself, even though I have a scarf, this isn't the same wound. It isn't, it's another one, different, and it might heal sooner than I think so. I pretend being cold and strong, but that's just it, pretending. Truth is, I am like God sees me. A 4 year old kid in a red dress.
Sometimes I miss weird things. Like walking down the soft rain while other runs and I enjoy. I wonder if my eyes look different now than what they used to.
I wonder if I'd be happier far and lonely. No hay ciego peor que aquel que no quiere ver.
Por eso siempre pido ver. Hay cosas que no se ven con los ojos.
I miss so much being a child. I was a happy kid.