Prelude

I want to think of my father. Of my family. of My friends. But the pain inside my chest it's big. And it seems that My brain is my worst enemy. Because I keep breaking my own heart. It's delusional. I am stupid.. for seeing things that aren't really there. I feel worthless, unpretty, which maybe is why this keeps happening.
I don't want more of this. I'm back where I was... to a subzero level. Beneath the floor. I thought we could lift each other.