I suppose I'll never or can have my way. But there is a reason for everything. What Am I Doing? I hate to see myself, sobbing over the same and yet different thing. I hate to miss. I hate to think. They are my mistakes. And you said.. what do I choose..
What am I giving my tears for? My headache? My crying? My pain?
I am sad, and I feel so stupid, and yet so human. I would hate to see you standing in front of me; because you knew, because you know. And I'm so stupid, I would hug you quietly and cry my heart out, because you know me, you know what I have by looking at me, seeing my face, hearing my voice, the expressions I use or don't use. But then I would need you just for that, having someone who knows without having me saying it out loud. Then I'd look at you and smile in tears, and I would walk away. Because you just aren't. You know but you aren't. Life tested me, tested you, so did fate, so did God, did I fail? Did you fail? Did love fail? No one and nothing failed.
I am just going to become things I didn't want to be, I will do things I didn't want to do, just like I am doing right now. So, that means I am going to find a job that isn't my passion, and I will live everyday and live everyday living. If I could, if I didn't .. If I wasn't.. I would talk to you right now, and I'd hear your voice, and fuck, what am I gonna say? Nothing, I'd hang up.
You won, you knew all along what you were doing, and I didn't. I thought I knew, but I am clueless. What will I do now? Move again? Why do I run away every time?
I am having such a big headache now, but I am sure tomorrow I will have more pain. My heart aches, for other reasons. But I will heal it, with God and by myself, cus I think I am good at it. I am a heart repairer. I still ponder, how do people do it? Some are so lucky they don't know it, but when I see them, I tell them and if I haven't, I'll say it when I see them.
Because, it's so weird, so odd, to find everything, to have everything, that just doesn't happen as often as you might think.
Now, I have a new life to face, full of challenges, uneasy but I think I'll be strong enough. I wish I had some of my friends closer, I wish I could so many things that just can't be.
I am so sorry, I was such a bitch with you at those times, I won't say the reasons why I did, but I shouldn't have, I know I hurted you bad now because I've been hurted. If someday we see each other again, just someday, I will apologize.
I remember you saying that if.. I could come back to you, but I won't. You didn't choose me, I won't go back. And my voice, it just fades away in your memory, the sweetest voice. No me preguntes... podría responderte sinceramente. Mis gestos.
If I look back, I was so naive and young and childish. And so were you. I've grown a little now.
I am smiling.. I am glad we did. I am tired, and I have things to look after, take care of, pamper, caress, kiss, love and repair.
What am I giving my tears for? My headache? My crying? My pain?
I am sad, and I feel so stupid, and yet so human. I would hate to see you standing in front of me; because you knew, because you know. And I'm so stupid, I would hug you quietly and cry my heart out, because you know me, you know what I have by looking at me, seeing my face, hearing my voice, the expressions I use or don't use. But then I would need you just for that, having someone who knows without having me saying it out loud. Then I'd look at you and smile in tears, and I would walk away. Because you just aren't. You know but you aren't. Life tested me, tested you, so did fate, so did God, did I fail? Did you fail? Did love fail? No one and nothing failed.
I am just going to become things I didn't want to be, I will do things I didn't want to do, just like I am doing right now. So, that means I am going to find a job that isn't my passion, and I will live everyday and live everyday living. If I could, if I didn't .. If I wasn't.. I would talk to you right now, and I'd hear your voice, and fuck, what am I gonna say? Nothing, I'd hang up.
You won, you knew all along what you were doing, and I didn't. I thought I knew, but I am clueless. What will I do now? Move again? Why do I run away every time?
I am having such a big headache now, but I am sure tomorrow I will have more pain. My heart aches, for other reasons. But I will heal it, with God and by myself, cus I think I am good at it. I am a heart repairer. I still ponder, how do people do it? Some are so lucky they don't know it, but when I see them, I tell them and if I haven't, I'll say it when I see them.
Because, it's so weird, so odd, to find everything, to have everything, that just doesn't happen as often as you might think.
Now, I have a new life to face, full of challenges, uneasy but I think I'll be strong enough. I wish I had some of my friends closer, I wish I could so many things that just can't be.
I am so sorry, I was such a bitch with you at those times, I won't say the reasons why I did, but I shouldn't have, I know I hurted you bad now because I've been hurted. If someday we see each other again, just someday, I will apologize.
I remember you saying that if.. I could come back to you, but I won't. You didn't choose me, I won't go back. And my voice, it just fades away in your memory, the sweetest voice. No me preguntes... podría responderte sinceramente. Mis gestos.
If I look back, I was so naive and young and childish. And so were you. I've grown a little now.
I am smiling.. I am glad we did. I am tired, and I have things to look after, take care of, pamper, caress, kiss, love and repair.
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