Escucho comentarios...Y todos siempre piensan saber más de la cuenta. Y todo queda en nada.. como siempre conmigo. Consecuencias de equivocarse, de amar demasiado, mal entender o necesitar. Yo intento...
Yo vivo en duelo. I'm one more widow. I buried lot of my ilussions, hopes and dreams. I need some time to get back on my feet. Meanwhile, I cry now and then everytime I remember, until I start to let go, like everything and my life goes back to being empty and live every day as it goes by without craving a future. Meanwhile, I leave pieces of me behind and I become someone else, somebody new.
I am so confused, all is so confusing. I'll never be able to receive or have what I wanted after all, not even from you, because let's face it, you can't just make an exception of turning back time just for me (=.
My xmas from last year was different from this one. Was I happy back then? Am I Happy now? I just remember I was full of expectations and some fears; and craving for a miracle that I believe I'll continue to crave my lifetime. I think I am no longer the such good warrior, since I surrender. I am more like a defeated warrior, doesn't mean that the light in my heart has vanished, it only has weakened. I'll try to enlighten it with other things, in the future perhaps, right now I can't and I don't want to either. I'll just live this process as I did with the others, it's just one more. I am not the only one, nor the first one, nor the last one, Im just not the micracle lucky one. I have luck according to life standards, but I wanted more than that. I am still sad, and I shouldn't had been so ambitious that I wanted it all. And maybe I should have thought before, I should have analyzed more. And since I am a grown up, this is what adults do: they face the consequences of their choices. wether they dont want or they thought differently.
But, meanwhile all this happens, I feel sorry and I apologize, because I might hurt in the traansformation process and I don't do it on purpose.. Actions, reactions, the equation of my life.
What do I want this year? Zeros, impossibles, a wish fixer fairy tale. So, dear God, you see through my heart as its transparent, maybe someday I will receive what my heart was craving for, could be in this life, but as it seems, it will be in my other life, beside you, relatives and animals.
But I ain't llike that at all, I will just stand there. Regresame los días...
I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound. I guess I can just start over, again.
*Sigh* I am still mourning...the pupile in denial...
Yo vivo en duelo. I'm one more widow. I buried lot of my ilussions, hopes and dreams. I need some time to get back on my feet. Meanwhile, I cry now and then everytime I remember, until I start to let go, like everything and my life goes back to being empty and live every day as it goes by without craving a future. Meanwhile, I leave pieces of me behind and I become someone else, somebody new.
I am so confused, all is so confusing. I'll never be able to receive or have what I wanted after all, not even from you, because let's face it, you can't just make an exception of turning back time just for me (=.
My xmas from last year was different from this one. Was I happy back then? Am I Happy now? I just remember I was full of expectations and some fears; and craving for a miracle that I believe I'll continue to crave my lifetime. I think I am no longer the such good warrior, since I surrender. I am more like a defeated warrior, doesn't mean that the light in my heart has vanished, it only has weakened. I'll try to enlighten it with other things, in the future perhaps, right now I can't and I don't want to either. I'll just live this process as I did with the others, it's just one more. I am not the only one, nor the first one, nor the last one, Im just not the micracle lucky one. I have luck according to life standards, but I wanted more than that. I am still sad, and I shouldn't had been so ambitious that I wanted it all. And maybe I should have thought before, I should have analyzed more. And since I am a grown up, this is what adults do: they face the consequences of their choices. wether they dont want or they thought differently.
But, meanwhile all this happens, I feel sorry and I apologize, because I might hurt in the traansformation process and I don't do it on purpose.. Actions, reactions, the equation of my life.
What do I want this year? Zeros, impossibles, a wish fixer fairy tale. So, dear God, you see through my heart as its transparent, maybe someday I will receive what my heart was craving for, could be in this life, but as it seems, it will be in my other life, beside you, relatives and animals.
But I ain't llike that at all, I will just stand there. Regresame los días...
I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound. I guess I can just start over, again.
*Sigh* I am still mourning...the pupile in denial...
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